Cruise Fables Vol. 8 Near Mutiny On The Pride Of Hawaii

My cruise journey has come to an end my friends. I have come back to my port of call for the last time. Yes, this morning I jumped ship in Honolulu. Well, me and several other crew members. You see, it took me a couple weeks to realize something... NCLA isn't very good at keeping employees. Or managing them. Or paying them. Or, for that matter, feeding them. In fact when I left the ship there were 30 crew members under quarantine because they had some vague disease called G.I. A bunch of passengers had it too. Deck 9 smelled like death!!! Anyway, I woke up today and saw I was scheduled to push a drink cart around the buffet for 8 hours and realized it was time to police up what was left of my dignity and go home.

I can't say i'm totally glad to have left. There are things I'm leaving behind on those Islands that I already have regrets about. I don't know if my leaving was the right choice or not, but I know I can do better then pushing a drink cart around a buffet all day.

Bottom line is this company promised a lot of things that aren't true, and I believed them, mainly because I'm dumb. But it's all over now. I did get to see some volcanoes, and enjoy some POG (pineapple, orange, guava - best drink EVER), and make some friends, and I went to Quizno's. So it wasn't a total bust. I even got to see my old roommate George again. I'm sad we won't be getting those Harley's and cruising Maui with sexy broads, but it's probably for the best. He'd probably have gotten me stabbed by some Big Lipped local woman he thought he should introduce me to.

In closing, it's nice being home again. I stopped by Nation's and had a chili burger on the way home. It was so good it made me forget about POG for a while. It's a weird feeling being home. It's like I just got off work after one very long 7 week day.

I will end these cruise fables now as I go crawl into my bed and slip off into slumber land. Tomorrow will be a new day and I must find a new career to write about. Hopefully one devoid of toothless Gaumanians, drink carts, or a disease-ravaged Deck 9.

Farewell NCLA. Welcome back San Francisco.