THE OFFICE DOG BATTLE/STAKE-OUT: Episode 1
First off let me say that I love dogs. Dogs are good things. The world would be a sad place, and more people would be owning up to their farts, if dogs did not exist. Dogs are great. That said let me say that there is a dog in my office building that needs to die. I would gladly inrotduce this dog to Michael Vick and his friends if the oppertunity presented itself. This motherfucker needs to go!
Here's the situation:
My office shares a building with many other companies. In the office directly above mine there is a company which is housing the most obnoxious barking dog in the history of quadraped mammals. Some say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist, but I contend that Lucifer's most dastardly violation against mankind was when he spat out this noisy piece of shit from the underworld, and not because he hates us but because he couldn't stand this rotten fucker himself! It's criminal how disruptive this creature is. My co-workers have complained about it, astonsihed that the people on the floor above us tolerate Satan's hell hound.
I finally decided something must be done, so during one of the dog's barking fits I ran out of my office to try and catch it in the act. By the time I reached the floor above me and prepared myself for battle, the barking had stopped. I started asking people where it was coming from but they were all suspiscously absent-minded, saying things like:
"Uh...I didn't hear anything."
"Um....I don't think I've seen a dog..."
"What is a dog?"
Terrible liars, all of them. They were clearly protecting the owner of this odius beast. I finally had enough and entered the office to complain to the secretary. When she gave me the same treatment I declared that I would not stop until I found this creature and put an end to this disgraceful display of pet obedience and disregard for neighboring office personnel! This is a place of business not a kennel!
I have proceeded to steak-out the office on my lunch hour until I catch this dog and it's fuck-face owner red-handed. I will update this blog as result become available.
Here's the situation:
My office shares a building with many other companies. In the office directly above mine there is a company which is housing the most obnoxious barking dog in the history of quadraped mammals. Some say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist, but I contend that Lucifer's most dastardly violation against mankind was when he spat out this noisy piece of shit from the underworld, and not because he hates us but because he couldn't stand this rotten fucker himself! It's criminal how disruptive this creature is. My co-workers have complained about it, astonsihed that the people on the floor above us tolerate Satan's hell hound.
I finally decided something must be done, so during one of the dog's barking fits I ran out of my office to try and catch it in the act. By the time I reached the floor above me and prepared myself for battle, the barking had stopped. I started asking people where it was coming from but they were all suspiscously absent-minded, saying things like:
"Uh...I didn't hear anything."
"Um....I don't think I've seen a dog..."
"What is a dog?"
Terrible liars, all of them. They were clearly protecting the owner of this odius beast. I finally had enough and entered the office to complain to the secretary. When she gave me the same treatment I declared that I would not stop until I found this creature and put an end to this disgraceful display of pet obedience and disregard for neighboring office personnel! This is a place of business not a kennel!
I have proceeded to steak-out the office on my lunch hour until I catch this dog and it's fuck-face owner red-handed. I will update this blog as result become available.
posted by firebaum @ 1:49 PM
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