Sphincters tighten as Warrior fans brace themselves for the final act!!!

The playoffs hang in the balance with 8 games remaining in the schedule as the greatest basketball team of all time, the Golden State Warriors, make their last stand in hopes of nabbing the much coveted 8th playoff slot.

I personally have not slept or had a solid bowel movement in weeks due to the anxiety I'm experiencing over the possiblity of The Warriors making the playoffs for the first time in 12 years!

As I write this the team is 2 1/2 games back from the 8th spot and are on their way to play the Houston Rockets. Yes, Yao-Ming is 7'5 and 300+ pounds, and YES they destroyed us earlier in the season, AND YES, we are one of the worst road teams in the NBA. But we have something the Rockets don't have...
NELLIE!!!!! WE HAVE NELLIE!!! One of the winningest coaches EVER!!! Nellie wants to go to the playoffs and he has promised to take us there. My faith is in Nellie and my boys and I would go put a hundred dollars on the Warriors if I were in Vegas right now and they accepted Monoply money! I would do it! Becuase we are going to WIN and we are going to the playoffs, and we're even taking our stupid mascot Thunder with us!!!
FOLLOW NELLIE, HE KNOWS THE WAY! LET'S GO!!!

DON'T STOP THE NOISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!